Goodbye cruel online world...

I was all set for a good finish when this devastating turn card hit me.

PokerStars Game #23110149526: Tournament #127000824, $50+$5 Hold'em No Limit - Level XI (400/800) - 2008/12/21 0:17:33 ET
Table '127000824 18' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: Sextantinn (20230 in chips)
Seat 2: Seb-musashi (2753 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 3: SirSwish6 (8335 in chips)
Seat 4: BigDennys (8535 in chips)
Seat 5: ShadowCat (13272 in chips)
Seat 6: Illinifan10 (15575 in chips)
Seat 7: BammBamm (11377 in chips)
Seat 8: bd3109 (15264 in chips)
Seat 9: Adog26 (8641 in chips)
Sextantinn: posts the ante 75
Seb-musashi: posts the ante 75
SirSwish6: posts the ante 75
BigDennys: posts the ante 75
ShadowCat: posts the ante 75
Illinifan10: posts the ante 75
BammBamm: posts the ante 75
bd3109: posts the ante 75
Adog26: posts the ante 75
bd3109: posts small blind 400
Adog26: posts big blind 800
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Illinifan10 [Kd Ah]
Sextantinn: folds
Seb-musashi: folds
SirSwish6: folds
BigDennys: folds
ShadowCat: folds
Illinifan10: raises 1200 to 2000
BammBamm: folds
bd3109: raises 4000 to 6000
Adog26: folds
Illinifan10: raises 9500 to 15500 and is all-in
bd3109: calls 9189 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (311) returned to Illinifan10
*** FLOP *** [Ts 9c 5d]
*** TURN *** [Ts 9c 5d] [8s]
*** RIVER *** [Ts 9c 5d 8s] [5c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
bd3109: shows [Jd 8d] (two pair, Eights and Fives)
Illinifan10: shows [Kd Ah] (a pair of Fives)
bd3109 collected 31853 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 31853 | Rake 0
Board [Ts 9c 5d 8s 5c]
Seat 1: Sextantinn folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Seb-musashi folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: SirSwish6 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: BigDennys folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: ShadowCat folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Illinifan10 showed [Kd Ah] and lost with a pair of Fives
Seat 7: BammBamm (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: bd3109 (small blind) showed [Jd 8d] and won (31853) with two pair, Eights and Fives
Seat 9: Adog26 (big blind) folded before Flop

How could I have played it any better? Nope, I couldn't. As usual. So I guess I'm out for a few months, years, whatever. I'll post my live results on here once in a while. Thanks to anyone who has read my blog.

I could be done online...

I just can't seem to break this bad slump and it's making me almost sick. I just stare at my screen in disbelief as another big pot gets pushed away to the donkey who should have never been in the pot. I firmly believe that I statistically run worse than the average player. I know everyone will tell me this is not true but I watch it happen time and time again. Sure, I've won a few big tournaments but everyone has to have a bone thrown to them sometimes. It's just that I have never gone on a good run ever in my life. I've ran good for a tourney, or a cash game session, but that is it. I've never ran good for more than one day in a row. I know I have a lot of skill, more than most that I play with. I just can't beat the variance. So with that said, tonight I am playing in four tourneys. The 30k, 10k, 40k, and the 40k $3 rebuy, and if my account has less than 1k in it when the night is done I will be taking all my money offline. There is a new casino open close to where I live and I will go there to rebuild my bankroll playing the 1/2NL game. If I do well in that game over a period of time I will re-deposit money online. I will not be depositing on pokerstars anymore. I will be playing on full tilt as I seem to do better there. So I will give the verdict later tonight.

Somebody kill me!!

Yikes! I continue the worst run of my life playing cash games. The combination of beats, coolers, and bad plays have left me in a state of shock. I'm down $2100 in the last couple weeks. I don't feel I'm playing too bad, I'm just stuck in a bad downswing. But, what goes down MUST come up sometime. So, I will continue to grind it out until I get out of this bad swing. As for now I will be putting in less volume and playing a few more tournaments and just see what happens. I'm playing the 40k gtd and the $3 rebuy tonight. I will be tracking my progress at the beginning of each hour in this blog just to see what happens.......it worked last time!!

7:00pm: Both tourneys just started and of course I don't know anyone. More than likely they are all weak players. So I'll just try to play small pots and get it in with my big hands. GL me!

8:00pm: Not much worth noting. Haven't picked up too many hands yet. I've tripled my stack in the $3R and I have a little less than my starting stack in the 40k. The table in the 40k is super juicy so I really hope I get a hand.

9:44pm: So as usual the table donkey who plays 80% of his hands picks up Aces when I shove my jacks on him. So fucking typical of how I've been running lately. Out of the 40k :(. Out of the $3R 99 is no good on a flop of 9 J 2. JJ of course. I'm really about to take all my money offline and say fuck it. Go and play at the casino against the super donkeys. Whatever.